


Invasion of Privacy

by mddnapstablook



Category: South Park
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, kind of bc they don't really establish anything but they kiss so, liane and kenny and stan are mentioned but that's IT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 15:52:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16498523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mddnapstablook/pseuds/mddnapstablook
Summary: After getting their notebooks mixed up, Kyle reads Cartman's journal and finds out what he really thinks about him.





	Invasion of Privacy

Kyle was beyond relieved to finally be home. He’d had a long week; tests in all his classes, planning for Stan’s birthday, and Halloween was creeping up faster than it had seemed to when he was just a child. Even when he wasn’t at school or helping out somewhat reluctantly at his dad’s firm, he’d been busy helping the guys with math because they were all miserable at it. It’s what they’d been doing right after school that day, and was just another reason why Kyle nearly melted into his computer chair when he took a seat at his desk. 

On the bright side, helping Stan and Kenny in math made his grades skyrocket. He had to know formulas by heart if he wanted to get anything through to them. Still, that meant more studying for him than he would have preferred to do, but Kyle was nothing if not a good friend. Or at least, he believed so. 

He popped the tab on the soda he’d brought up from the kitchen after dinner and took a sip before reaching into his bag to pull out his algebra notebook. He’d decided to look over the notes from today one more time before he took a shower and got ready for bed. Kyle was sure he didn’t need to, but it couldn’t hurt. 

Upon opening his notebook however, he wasn’t met with his clean and concise notes. Kyle furrowed his brow as he stared uncomprehending at the crude drawings and curse laden rants before him. This clearly wasn’t his notebook, but there was something familiar about the contents. Kyle turned a page, and was met with a long journal entry about getting detention for-

Oh. This was Cartman’s journal. 

Kyle leaned back in his seat. Of course he knew Cartman kept a journal. It rarely left his bedroom, but Kyle had been over to his house unannounced enough to see him scribbling in it before tucking it away from prying eyes. (Kyle wasn’t really sure who would want an inside glimpse at Cartman’s mind, but whatever.) He understood wanting privacy, but a red spiral notebook was hardly going to keep anyone out. 

A red spiral notebook that looked exactly like Kyle’s own algebra notebook, as it turned out. Kyle remembered seeing it on Cartman’s desk when they had gone up to his room. Kyle had dropped his stuff off on top of it without another thought, and when he packed up his stuff to go home, he must have grabbed the wrong one. 

Well, now what? 

Logically, Kyle knew he should return the journal. If Cartman didn’t know he had it already, he soon would, and he probably wasn’t going to be very understanding of Kyle taking it. Not that it was on purpose or anything, but it was Kyle, and that was Cartman, and Kyle supposed in his position, he’d be mortified to find out someone had his journal. Afterall, the only way to tell the difference between the two had been to open it up, so Kyle couldn’t even say he hadn’t read anything. 

Not that he’d read anything interesting. Just the usual Cartman stuff. But… well if Cartman assumed he’d read more than that anyway…

Kyle flipped the notebook closed. He really shouldn’t invade Cartman’s privacy. If it was Stan’s notebook he wouldn’t read it, so he shouldn’t be considering it now.

Cartman was still very much the same person he always was, but Kyle thought he had grown to be a bit more tolerable, and they’d made a lot of progress towards actually being good friends rather than frenemies. Aside from the occasional temper tantrums, things were good. Once you got past all the shitty aspects of Cartman’s personality, he was cool. Kyle had always known that on some level, he supposed. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been hanging out with him for all those years anyway. 

Cartman was funny, and smarter than he let on at times. He seemed to get Kyle in a way no one else did, and while it pained Kyle physically to admit it, they had a lot in common. Now more so than ever, it seemed, with the way Kyle and Stan seemed to be drifting apart despite their best efforts not to. 

The truth was, Cartman was a great friend as of late. Bickering with him over dumb stuff was the only thing keeping Kyle sane as he drowned under college applications and his own crippling insecurities that were multiplying with each passing day that he realized he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his future. 

Out of respect for that, Kyle knew he shouldn’t read Cartman’s journal. 

But…

There was that small part of Kyle that knew there had to be stuff written about himself in there. Kyle _was_ a part of Cartman’s life. It would be weird if he _wasn’t_ mentioned anywhere inside, right? Kyle drummed his fingers against his desk as thought it over. 

Would it be wrong just to peek inside and see what Cartman thought of him? Of course Kyle was sure he already knew what to expect, but what if he was wrong? Kyle didn’t like being wrong, so he wanted to have an accurate idea of what Cartman was really thinking, and if that meant just skimming through his journal for a minute-

One minute. That’s all Kyle would allow himself. One minute to look for his own name among the college ruled pages, and then he would promptly take the journal over to its rightful owner and get his own notebook back. 

Kyle opened to the first page. 

Nothing. Well, nothing about Kyle, at least. He turned the page. 

There! Kyle started at the beginning of the sentence with his name in it. 

_Kyle was wearing purple today, which is so not a good color on him. I tried to tell him that he looks way better in dark reds, but of course he wouldn’t listen to me. What do I know about fashion, right? God, I hate him._

Okay, yep, pretty much what Kyle had been expecting. He remembered the day in question, too. Now that Kyle thought about it, he hadn’t worn that sweater in a while. Huh. 

The next page had some doodles. A dragon wearing a backpack, a black cat, a shark eating someone, and-

And a sketch of Kyle’s profile as he was reading a book. 

Kyle felt his face get warmer as he stared at the drawing. It wasn’t perfect by any means; Kenny was the real artist of their friend group. But it wasn’t _bad_ either. Kyle definitely couldn’t have done any better, he’d left arts and crafts behind in elementary school, where it belonged. He didn’t mind art, but he also didn’t really care for it. 

He was pretty impressed though. It was fairly easy to tell that the drawing was of himself, the hat giving it away if you couldn’t discern from the light smattering of freckles or the huge nose. All in all it was kind of flattering. Kyle wasn’t sure how to feel about it. 

His minute was up though, he’d spent too long staring at the drawing. He was only three pages in though, could he really stop now? 

Kyle turned to the next page. And the next. And the next. 

It wasn’t like Kyle was all Cartman wrote about. He wrote about a lot of things that Kyle didn’t care enough to pay attention to when he had such limited time to absorb it all. He saw other people’s names mentioned, but the only one that stood out to him was his own. 

_Kyle got detention today for arguing with the teacher over my essay. MY essay. Can you believe that? He said it was graded unfairly (which it absolutely was) and that I worked hard and deserved a better grade. Jesus, it was hot._

Kyle froze. What did that say?

_Jesus, it was hot._

Hot. Cartman thought- he-

Kyle stood abruptly from his chair so he could pace around his room. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. This was a thing. This was a thing that was happening that Kyle had to deal with. 

He mentally argued with himself, wondering if maybe he’d misread or misunderstood what he had read, or something because there was no way Cartman actually thought that-

That Kyle defending him had been _hot_.

Kyle was too keyed up to sit back down again, but he needed confirmation. He picked the notebook up and flipped through it some more. 

_Gym has exactly one (1) redeeming quality, and its Kyle not wearing that ugly fuckin’ hat. You’d think he would have gotten over hating his hair by now, but nah. Always with the hat. God only knows why he even hates his hair in the first place, because I love it. All those bouncy curls. I just want to run my hands through it whenever I manage to catch a glimpse._

Kyle tugged on his hat self-consciously as he continued reading. The entire entry pretty much went on just the same, lamenting his over-use of the hat and ending with a bad haiku. Kyle couldn’t believe what he was reading. 

Was this a joke? Would Cartman do that? Write a fake journal full of weird, mushy entries about Kyle and leave it out for him to find and read? The idea was convoluted, and the words were _right_ there, and none of this was making any sense. There was no reason to go to such lengths, unless-

“Oh my God.” Kyle felt his stomach flip. “He knows.”

Cartman couldn’t know, could he? Kyle had been doing so well keeping his secret to himself. No one knew, not even fucking _Stan_. Would it really be that hard to figure out though? And would Cartman be cruel enough to set this up?

Kyle shook his head. No, he was being ridiculous. Cartman didn’t want anyone, least of all Kyle, to read his journal. And he probably didn’t know about Kyle’s embarrassing crush on him. Probably. Hopefully. 

Kyle kept reading. 

And then he slammed the notebook shut when he got to the next drawing, his face burning and heart thudding painfully in his chest. 

Kyle set the notebook down so he could use both of his hands to hide his face as he let out a shuddering exhale. He had to be going crazy. Or he was dreaming. It was just not at all possible that Cartman had really drawn _that_ in his notebook. 

When he checked again, the image hadn’t changed. Heat pooled in Kyle’d gut unbidden as he looked down at the _highly inappropriate_ drawing of himself. Okay. Well. 

Kyle closed the notebook, firmly deciding it was time to return it to Cartman. 

The two minute walk between their houses seemed to both drag on and not be long enough as he tried to figure out just what he was supposed to even say. Liane let him in easily enough, and then it was time for the moment of truth. Kyle knocked on Cartman’s door. 

There was no answer. 

He knew he had to be in there. A quick glance down the hall showed the bathroom to be empty, and Liane said he was upstairs. “Cartman?” he called through the door. 

“Go away, Kyle!”

Kyle straightened his back and opened the door, surprisingly left unlocked. Stepping inside, Kyle could see his algebra notebook open on the desk, Cartman apparently having come to the same realization he had. Cartman himself was sat on his bed, face mottled with red. 

“I, uh, I think I have your journal.” Kyle managed to get out, holding the notebook up. 

Cartman scowled. “You _think_?” he asked, snatching the journal out of Kyle’s hand. 

“Well _I_ definitely didn’t write the stuff in there!” Kyle replied, only realizing after the words were out that he’d just admitted to invading his privacy. 

Cartman gaped. “You read it? Jesus, Kyle!” He covered his face and groaned. 

“Not, not all of it!” Kyle defended himself. “I just, you know, I opened it and saw that it wasn’t mine, so I was looking to see who it belonged to-”

“How much did you read?”

Kyle hesitated, averting his eyes. 

“Kyle-”

“Just a few pages. Just-, Cartman listen!”

Cartman rose from his bed to pick up Kyle’s notebook and shove it harshly into Kyle’s chest. “Just get out, Kyle.” he hissed. 

“Dude, come on, just hear me out, okay?” Kyle asked, holding up one hand pleadingly. 

“And why should I, Kyle? Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

Kyle sighed. “I know you’re upset, I would be too, in your position. I didn’t know it was your journal, okay? I wouldn’t have read it otherwise. You know that-”

“No, I _don’t_ know that, Kyle! Because you did read it! Can’t you just fucking leave me alone?” he snapped. “I don’t care about whatever bullshit apology you have or whatever you want to talk about, and I definitely don’t want to fucking talk about what I wrote, so-”

There was no getting through to him was there? Kyle bit his lip, mind racing as he tried to think of a way to make Cartman shut up long enough for Kyle to get his words out, but nothing was coming to him. What could he do? 

Impulsivity winning out, Kyle dropped his notebook to the ground and reached out to cup Cartman’s face in his hands.

“What the f-” Cartman started, but Kyle was too busy crashing his lips into his to answer. 

It was like two seconds, and Cartman’s mouth had been slightly open so Kyle was sure he’d busted his top lip open on Cartman’s teeth, but Christ. Jesus fuckin’ tap-dancing _Christ_ , Kyle had kissed him. And it had _worked_ , when Kyle pulled back, Cartman was frozen in his spot, staring down at Kyle and eyes desperately scanning his face for answers. 

“Dude,” Cartman said finally, emphatically. 

“I didn’t- I didn’t know how else to shut you up.” Kyle said, embarrassment washing over him. “Sorry, I- I just thought-”

But then Cartman was kissing _him_ , one hand on Kyle’s lower back and the other gripping his arm and pulling him close, and Kyle didn’t know what to do with his hands, or his lips, or his _anything_ because holy shit, holy SHIT, Cartman was kissing him. 

Kyle stumbled back, smiling brightly up at Cartman. Okay, this was happening, huh? “Wow.” he almost cringed at how lame that was, but Cartman was grinning just as stupidly back at him. 

“Did that really just happen?” he asked, breathlessly. Kyle nodded. 

Cartman brought a hand up to cup his own cheek. “I didn’t think that you would… that you would do something like that. With me.”

Kyle laughed lightly. He felt like he’d never stop smiling, which was kind of concerning, but he’d worry about that later. “Well, I guess that shows just how observant you are, huh?”

“Pfft. I’m unobservant? How about the millions of hints I’ve been sending your way, for like, ever?”

Kyle scrunched his nose. “Okay, yeah, maybe we’re both a little dumb sometimes. It did take me invading your privacy to read the signs.”

Cartman settled his hands on Kyle’s hips and tugged him forward. “Don’t think I’m going to let that go just because things worked out. You’re a sneaky mother fucker and I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. I’ve got my eye on you, Kyle, and I don’t intend to let you get one over on me again.”

Kyle rolled his eyes fondly (and wasn’t _that_ something?) and schooled his face into a practiced glare. “You’re outta your mind if you think you can stop me from doing something when I set my mind to it.”

“Out of my mind for you, Kyle.” Cartman cooed into his ear. Kyle shoved him away, but was unable to stop the giggle that escaped him.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY. I started working on this before Halloween but I didn't finish it in time, oops. also i don't love the way i ended this but whatever, we can always use more kyman fluff up in here. tbh in cartman's position i probably wouldn't have gotten over kyle reading my journal that easily, but what is fanfiction for if not suspending disbelief for romance?
> 
> anyway, shout out to @sinfulkyman for helping me get into cartman's head space, which is a horrifying place to be lmao, and to @cartmanfindslove for their awesome protective bf kyle headcanons, as i ended up using one of them in this fic (kyle getting in an argument with a teacher over cartman's essay)
> 
> as always, i hope u enjoyed reading this as much as i did writing it, and thank you for reading!!


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